Who would like to carry on playing golf in Sydney this weekend? Find out with our hole-by-hole coverage

4.08pm AEST

Righto, where are we … on the par-4 eleventh, it’s 426m, a long way, heap of water , there’s been 8 birdies, 72 pars and a rather lot of bogeys, it’s a tricky one. Greg Chalmers? He’s co-leading. And navigates the fairway high-diddle.

Brett Rumford? Same-same. These men … they’re just so good at golf it should be illegal.

4.00pm AEST

Okay – 16th hole and it’s Our Rory, on the tee … he’s … well. He’s whaled that like that book about whales. Or a whale. the one where someone goes inside a whale. Amazing how your brain … Moby Dick! Rory McIlroy has whaled his drive like Moby dick on the 16th hole, and is 2-under and two off the pace in the national open golf championship of Australia despite not playing really very well. But when you’re good, you can just be good. Which is nice.

3.41pm AEST

Who’s winning this national championship of Australia? One of these dudes, perhaps. But they could come from anywhere. Particularly as Rory McIlroy is -1. It’s playing pretty tough, The Australian. And these uber-men of golf are playing for pars.

Jordan Spieth -3
Geoff Drakeford -3
Greg Chalmers -3
Adam Crawford -3
Robert Allenby -2
Rod Pampling -2
Jake Higginbottom -2
Adam Scott -2
Rhein Gibson -2

3.31pm AEST

TV types focusing on Jarrod Lyle now, he’s 7-over and battling away to play on the weekend, but is back from the Big C, again, and wears a yellow hat like the duck the symbol of his charity. Robert Allenby is massively involved in the same charity, and met a young Jarrod Lyle when he was 15 or something and in bed battling Leukemia. And if I didn’t spell that right who gives a crap it’s cancer hell with cancer I’ll spell it Bwiiintxxx if I like, Leukemia be buggered. In fact it doesn’t deserve a capital, bwiintxx.

What? Yes! Jarrod Lyle beat Leukemia or however you spell it bloody twice, and here he is playing golf in the national open golf championship of Australia.

3.24pm AEST

The cut? Looks about +4 … which means there’s about 20 golfing men thinking like Marge Simpson in that worried way when Homer tells of his latest Plan… Hmmmm…

Full leaderboard here. Think the Guardian’s IT dudes could link up something, get it “live” here on the site. IT dudes can do that. I used to be one. Started out working on a Helpdesk. You know how we fixed stuff? Ctrl-Alt-Del. Reboot that bad-boy, User Person. And then see how you go.

3.14pm AEST

Okay – everyone, in your best Mr Burns:

“Todd Sinnott, eh?”

3.08pm AEST

New leader! Greg Chalmers, he won this tournament a couple of years ago at The Lakes, he’s 4-under. And leads these people:

Jordan Spieth -3
Geoff Drakeford -3
Adam Crawford -3
Richard Green -3
Todd Sinnott (Am) -3
Robert Allenby-2
Rod Pampling -2
Jake Higginbottom -2

3.03pm AEST

Greg Chalmers, one of the leaders … chopped one into the bark on 13.

Rory for … oh! Lip out! Not just a lip-out, a horse-shoe lip out. And that’s a bogey-5.

3.02pm AEST

Okay … where are we? Rory’s on 13 … he’s chipped from off the green, to … thereabouts. He’s got a ten footer. Been hitting ten foot putts for a while, Rory, and good luck to him.

2.52pm AEST

Jarrod Lyle – birdie! He hasn’t had many, he’s 7-over. Brett Rumford … he’s birdied the same hole.

2.51pm AEST

My – Rory has unleashed his driver on 12 … wow. Booming drive. He’s playing with Geoff Ogilvy, renowned as the Smartest Man In Golf Or One of Em. He’s +5 … and blocked his drive, somewhat … but it’s still in very good nick, given it’s a thousand yards from its maker, these people can hit the ball like Bluto, Popeye’s enemy whacking a thing at a carnival to impress Olive Oyl.

2.48pm AEST

OH -what a putt from Rory. He’s slid a huge putt up a tier on 18 (his ninth), a genuine bomb. He’s now … 1-under. And well in contention. One-over today.

And even as I write, he’s birdied again – here comes the Irish Wolfhound, he’s a ripper Rory, how good is he at golf.

2.43pm AEST

Victory in Melbourne @victoryinmelb “Also doubt that venerable and Civic Pool will ever be in the same sentence again.”

This makes three of us, probably more.

2.41pm AEST

Matt Jones, on the par-3 Lexus Hole, the 11th … he’s gone the Greg Chalmers route into the crowd … but doesn’t get the favourable bounce.

2.39pm AEST

Brett Rumford, two off the pace at 1-under. He’s been around a while, Brett Rumford. Sitting next to a mate of mine, Paulo, we were watching Brett Rumford once at Royal Canberra and Paulo gave me 8-1 on Brett Rumford and when Brett Rumford missed a putt to get him in the lead Paulo cheered quite loudly. He doesn’t understand etiquette, Paulo. Good fellah, however.

2.36pm AEST

Here’s Richard Green, -3, equal leader … in the greenside trap … great shot. These men own the sand. Own it. He’s knocked it up to tap-in. And remains our Dear Leader.

2.35pm AEST

Okay, here’s Greg Chalmers, on the 11th, the Lexus Par 3 hole … he blocks it … OH! HE’S WHACKED IT OFF SOMEONE’S HEAD! AND IT’S NEARLY GONE IN!

Ha. Not off that spectator’s head. The leg, perhaps. Or belly But’s now one inch from the hole. Ha. Great game, golf.

2.26pm AEST

Geoff Foley ‏@Gfol83 says: “I doubt the venerable old Civic Pool will ever be uttered in the same paragraph as Jessica Alba again.”

Word, brother. Word.

2.23pm AEST

Who’s winning? These dudes:

T1 Jordan Spieth -3
T1 Geoff Drakeford -3
T1 Richard Green -3
T1 Todd Sinnott (Am) -3

2.20pm AEST

My but this is a beautiful course, beautiful like a Pine and Lime Splice on a hot day doing bombs off top tower at Civic Pool. Beautiful like Jessica Alba on that same hot day playing golf in China, and if you haven’t seen Jessica Alba playing golf on a hot day in China then I urge you, and strongly, to Google search images at your earliest convenience. The girl is smokin’. And playing golf – which isn’t a sport one often associates with gob-droppingly shtonking-beautiful Hollywood hotties – I dunno, something about it.

Here’s a video. I like totally love her a thousand, perhaps more.

2.15pm AEST

And on the old email:

Jon O’Neill: Pretty funny stuff mate. ( I was gunna say f***ing funny but didn’t want to pump up your tyres too much ) cheers Jon.

2.12pm AEST

Shout out time to the incredibly kind folks who wrote incredibly kind missives to me yesterday, it’s things like that, along with the two hundred bucks, that make this gig worthwhile.

James Smith @JamesSmith1001: @JournoMatCleary I liked your commentary yesterday too. Especially the part about Kerry Packer’s biscuits.

2.07pm AEST

The news of this morning? Adam Scott and his Adam Scott-like charge up the leaderboard. Adam Scott did this morning: Five-under 65 – hot round from the World No.2 and all-round Top Man of Golf in this country and most others. Could you shoot 65 at the Australian? Or anywhere? In 18 holes? Chances are you couldn’t shoot 65 over 8-12 of these super golf holes if you’re an 8-marker from Long Reef up Collaroy way, no sirree Bob Shearer.

Bob Shearer? One of the cavalcade of Top Aussie Golfers in the 80s, along with Ian Baker-Finch, Rodger Davis and, of course, old Great White Shark, Greg Norman, the cunning old Carcharodon carcharias, also known as the great white, white pointer, white shark, white death, and “Greg”.

2.04pm AEST

Okay – welcome back to The Australian for Round Two of this Australian Open golf championship. Absolutely cracking day for golf or anything really, perhaps 25 degrees, with a light southerly breeze wafting across the green velvet lady lumps of this venerable yet extremely beautiful golf course.

Venerable? Beautiful? If The Australian golf course was an actress it would be Raquel Welch, star of One Billion Years BC, a film from 1966 depicted a “savage world whose only law was lust!”

1.46pm AEST

Greetings, Australians, and welcome back to the Australian, the golf club nestled like a velvet green tongue in the inner depths of Rosebery in Sydney’s suburban east. It’s round two of the Australian Open, and the joint is ready to rumble.

Maybe not rumble, it’s golf not cage fighting. Golfers don’t … rumble. But it’s definitely time for the pretenders and contenders to ante up.

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By Matt Cleary

: News

The Australian actor speaks out in support of Watson’s HeForShe campaign, while praising Julia Gillard, Hillary Clinton and Christine Lagarde as role models for women

Cate Blanchett has come out in support of Emma Watson’s HeForShe campaign, while expressing anger over the subsequent threats to release nude photos of the Harry Potter actress.

“I was so fucking proud of Emma Watson’s speech at the UN,” said Blanchett in an interview in the latest edition of Porter magazine. “It was brilliant, such an incredible use of her airspace, and really passionate.”

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By Nancy Groves

: News

Clarissa the possum sets the stage for hot political issues which need to be debated

• Get all your needs met at the First Dog shop if what you need is First Dog merchandise and prints
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By First Dog on the Moon

: News

With polls showing the Greens ahead in both Melbourne and Richmond, the minor party holds high hopes of securing the balance of power

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By Oliver Milman

: News

Prime minister to announce that EU membership is dependent on measure affecting more than 300,000 EU migrants in UK

Migrants from the European Union will have to work in Britain for a minimum of four years before they can claim benefits, David Cameron will propose on Friday in a major speech setting out a vision of how the EU can control the free movement of workers – and how he is willing to leave the union if he does not get his way.

In an attempt to restore his shattered credibility on immigration, the prime minister will say that Britain’s EU membership is now dependent on nation states being able to withhold almost all benefits from EU migrants.

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By Patrick Wintour and Alan Travis

: News

The problem with emojis

November 28, 2014

The Unicode Consortium, the equivalent of the Académie Française for emojis, is part of a shameful plot to destroy the institution of marriage (just don’t expect to laugh at this piece if you use Chrome; use Firefox instead)

The best thing I’ve read all week is the Unicode Consortium’s Emojis and Dingbats FAQ. The Consortium, a nonprofit organisation that counts most major software and hardware companies among its members, is responsible for developing Unicode, a way of encoding text so that it displays consistently across different platforms. (Except if you’re using Google’s Chrome browser, which clearly violates its “Don’t Be Evil” motto by displaying emoji either not at all or as sad little black line drawings – so change to Firefox or Safari if you want to laugh along.)

This means, among other things, that the Consortium is in charge of emojis. Every time you say ✈⛺ instead of “My wife and I have cut our adventure biking honeymoon short because she’s been admitted to hospital suffering from Ebola,” the selection of little cartoon pictures to which you’re limited is determined by the Consortium.

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By Eleanor Robertson

: News

• McKinlay had brief spell in charge of Watford this season
• Appointment completes Moyes’ coaching staff
• ‘Real Sociedad job is biggest challenge of my career’

David Moyes has added further Scottish influence to the Real Sociedad coaching staff with the appointment of Billy McKinlay.

Moyes, who made Sociedad his first club since Manchester United a fortnight ago, took charge of his first game on Saturday when they drew 0-0 with Deportivo La Coruña.

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By Press Association

: News

7.10pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 30-10 Dallas Cowboys 12:27, 4th quarter

Yep, McCoy was down already so the Eagles keep the ball. It’s a 1st and 10 on the Cowboys 13.

7.07pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 30-10 Dallas Cowboys 12:27, 4th quarter

McCoy is silcing thr… ah. Another fumble for McCoy – his second of the game. They’re reviewing it though, McCoy may have been down before it came out.

That INT was Romo’s first since his return from his most recent back injury. Might have another back injury if pressure keeps up #BirdDay

7.00pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 30-10 Dallas Cowboys 0:27, 3rd quarter

LeSean McCoy brings up 1,000 rushing yards for the season and has 141 for the game so far today. The Eagles are up to the 50.

6.57pm ET

INTERCEPTION! Philadelphia Eagles 30-10 Dallas Cowboys 2:37, 3rd quarter

Yep, that one was coming. Romo had looked flustered and rushed as the Eagles put plenty of pressure on him this drive. He hurries his throw and it’s picked off by Williams.

6.51pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 30-10 Dallas Cowboys 4:48, 3rd quarter

The Eagles have an interception scratched off after a holding penalty. That could be the crucial difference between the Cowboys losing 31-17 rather than 35-13.

6.46pm ET

Tony Romo reimagined. You’ll notice this isn’t taken today because Romo is wearing a blue jersey and doesn’t actually have a turkey on his head.

Romo’d #CSNTurkeyTalk pic.twitter.com/geobimXHSN

6.44pm ET

Superb job from the Eagles’ offensive line, opening up a huge hole for McCoy, who blazes through for a 38-yard TD run.

6.43pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 23-10 Dallas Cowboys 7:35, 3rd quarter

“Happy Thanksgiving, Tom,” writes Jess Abbey. Thanks, it means something. Sanchez has his neck snapped back and gets a roughing the passer call in his favour. That takes the Eagles to their own 42.

6.39pm ET

There’s an extended trailer for the Exodus movie in the ad break as Moses’s Jews take on the physical Egyptians, who have home field advantage. I fancy the chances of Moses’s men though, they’ve got a strong special teams unit what with the locusts, frogs, river of blood and God.

6.36pm ET

The Eagles do a fine job of holding up Dallas though. They stop Murray and then get pressure on Romo and the Cowboys are forced to settle foe the three points.

6.34pm ET

FUMBLE! Philadelphia Eagles 23-7 Dallas Cowboys 11:18, 3rd quarter

McCoy, who has only had one lost fumble this season, coughs it up and The Cowboys have it on the Eagles’ 12. Murray takes it down to the Eagles’ 1.

6.28pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 23-7 Dallas Cowboys 11:48, 3rd quarter

Right, that didn’t last long. Dunbar can only make a short gain on 3rd and 3 and Sproles takes the fair catch on his own 10 after the punt.

6.28pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 23-7 Dallas Cowboys 12:27, 3rd quarter

Pitbull signs off by wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. He is the only person to have done so so far today. Cowboys get off to a decent start after halftime. They’ve stopped Pitbull and are soon on their own 45 after some good work from Murray.

6.18pm ET

I may be on my own eating non-traditional leftovers on Thanksgiving but at least I’m not at the Cowboys being forced to watch Pitbull at the half-time show. Although I am being forced to watch him on television. Hmmm. Anyway:

“I don’t get his popularity at all, I guess I’m too old” – my 91 year old grandma on Pitbull #takesgiving @sportspickle

6.05pm ET

The Eagles were superb in the first half, with Sanchez in complete control. He threw for 202 yards and completed 17 of his 24 passes. And ran for a tocuhdown. Apart from that he was rubbish. Still, it could easily have been 31-7 to the Eagles and Dallas are still in this.

6.02pm ET

Well, things could have been a lot worse for the Cowboys, who have held the Eagles to two field goals in their last two trips in the red zone.

6.00pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 20-7 Dallas Cowboys 0:35, 2nd quarter

Poor old Beasley is on the sidelines looking like a man who just fumbled the ball at a crucial stage of a crucial game. He’s a method actor.

5.56pm ET

FUMBLE!

Romo looks like he’s starting a promising drive as he picks out Beasley but the ball is stripped from his loving arms and the Eagles dive on it. That’s a big play as we rumble toward half-time. They’re reviewing it now … and yup, the Eagles have the ball.

5.52pm ET

Barry Church, who has been excellent for the Cowboys today stops McCoy on the three-yard line. Moore leaps brilliantly to bat away a Sanchez pass that was heading for Riley Cooper on third down. Plenty of time for Dallas to score before half-time

5.49pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 17-7 Dallas Cowboys, 1:53 2nd quarter

Two minute warning comes and the Eagles are dominating. They’re in the redzone. The Cowboys haven’t been bad as much as Sanchez and the Eagles have been pretty much perfect. The Cowboys defense look VERY tired. And remember they played on Sunday night.

5.40pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 17-7 Dallas Cowboys, 4:09 2nd quarter

The NFL has just used Thanksgiving to thank its UK fans. Well done, Britain. You may even get the Jaguars one day as a reward. The Cowboys are doing a better job of stopping the Eagles now but Sproles converts on 3rd and 5. He scampered.

5.37pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 17-7 Dallas Cowboys, 5:44 2nd quarter

Hmmm. That didn’t end well for the Cowboys with Romo sacked. Jones puts up a huge 58 yard punt, which Sproles scampers back for 12 yards. I am contractually obliged to say Sproles has “scampered” at least four times a quarter. Did I mention Sproles just scampered?

5.35pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 17-7 Dallas Cowboys, 6:50 2nd quarter

Murray gets his team away from their own end zone, bringing it out to the 15 – he’s got 42 yards so far today without doign anything spectacular.

5.31pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 17-7 Dallas Cowboys, 9:27 2nd quarter

The Cowboys are showing a bit of fight in defense now. Moncey stuffs McCoy for a six yard loss. Sanchez can’t summon any magic on third down and the Eagles actually have to punt. Cowboys will start on their own 2 though.

5.27pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 17-7 Dallas Cowboys, 10:31 2nd quarter

The Cowboys are forced to punt after Romo fails to find Witten. Sproles returns the punt for 10 yards to the Eagles’ 33.

5.24pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 17-7 Dallas Cowboys, 11:55 2nd quarter

“How’s that chicken and pasta Thanksgiving meal going,” asks Dan Jenkins. I haven’t been able to eat it because of the Eagles’ pesky offensive efficiency, Dan. So now I’m lonely AND hungry. The Eagles drive comes up short but they so get a FIELD GOAL

5.19pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 14-7 Dallas Cowboys, 12:55 2nd quarter

“You think you’re lonely for Thanksgiving,” says Joe Davey, who I suspect is about to tell us he’s lonely. “I’m currently on my own in the office. Even the cleaners have left. Although I do live in Canada so it’s not that bad.” Oooh, fumble from the Eagles. But then Maclin picks up a 59-yard gain after Sanzhez finds him on his own.

5.14pm ET

Murray finds the gap and rumbles over for the Cowboys’ first score of the day


5.10pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 14-0 Dallas Cowboys, End of first quarter

Right that average per play for the Cowboys may just have gone up slightly. Romo finds Bryant for 38 yards and it’s first and goal for the Cowboys. Murray then takes it to the one-yard line

5.07pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 14-0 Dallas Cowboys, 2:30 1st quarter

The Cowboys start their drive with the shocking decision to hand off to Murray. Then follow it up with the shock decision to hand it off to Murray. This is all very well but the Eagles are averaging 10.5 yards per play at the moment to the Cowboys’ 3.3.

5.04pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 14-0 Dallas Cowboys, 4:01 1st quarter

Some good news for the Cowboys at last as Dunbar gets a good kickoff return, taking it back for 28 yards to the Cowboys 33.

5.02pm ET

Mark Sanchez advancing on the Cowboys if he was a storm in Australia rather than a football player in Texas. Look it’s symolic, not literal.

Like a movie scene #brisbanestorm (Credit Kai Linkerhof) pic.twitter.com/QeGsUm8QMy

5.01pm ET

TOUCHDOWN! Philadelphia Eagles 14-0 Dallas Cowboys

Another one. Eagles are unstoppable. Sanchez rumbles out of the pocket and connects with Matthews for a 27-yard touchdown. He’s 9/11 for 99 yards. Decent.

5.00pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 7-0 Dallas Cowboys, 5:00 1st quarter

Cowboys are forced to punt and Sanchez connects with Maclin, who now has 1,000 receiving yards for the season (yay). Cooper then bobbles a catch but clutches it to his chest and the Eagles are on the Cowboys 35

4.54pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 7-0 Dallas Cowboys, 6:55 1st quarter

Hey! DeMarco Murray can catch too. He picks up a first down, although Connor Barwin should have stopped him shy of the marker. This is what happens when you let hipsters play football. Cowboys on the Eagles 45

4.51pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 7-0 Dallas Cowboys, 8:55 1st quarter

My word, that opening drive from Sanchez couldn’t have been more clinical if it was led by a surgeon. A very athletic surgeon. The Cowboys start their opening drive with a few DeMarco Murray runs. And why not, it’s worked so far this season. Romo misteps slightly and is nearly picked off by Williams on 2nd and 6. Beasley then squirms over just for a first down after a short pass.

4.43pm ET

Damn the Eagles and their 0.0004 seconds between plays, it makes them very hard to liveblog. Their commitment to entertainment and winning must be stopped. A superbly orchestrated drive form Sanchez who ends the drive with another pass to Cooper before the QB himself crashes into the end zone with a two-yard run on the next play. And the extra point is good.

4.39pm ET

Philadelphia Eagles 0-0 Dallas Cowboys, 13:30 1st quarter

Sanchez gets off to a peppy sttart with a nine yard pass to Riley Cooper. Sproles then does his wriggly stuff to scamper for a first down. The next play McCoy powers through for a 36 yard pick-up and the Eagles are closing in on the red zone.

4.36pm ET

Kickoff

It’s a touchback. So the Eagles will start at the 20. Because that’s the rules.

4.33pm ET

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are having a stubble off on Fox. Despite the fact the Alpha Male blood that oozes through Aikman’s veins, I’m actually going to give Buck the edge here. Here you go, it offsets his forehead issues:

Joe Buck 2.0 probably drives a Camaro. (via @smartfootball) pic.twitter.com/Gdtu8hshrx

4.26pm ET

Predictions? You want predictions? We’ll give you predictions. Well, the Eagles have never lost on Thanksgiving, with a 5-0 record. Having said that they were completely different games played with different sets of players in different conditions so that means absolutely nothing. I think it’s going to be the Cowboys who end the Eagles Thanksgiving run – Philadelphia have struggled on contain the top level of QBs this season and Romo is playing out of his skin of late. I was thinking Eagles 10-24 Cowboys. but in an effort to keep you reading about a stone cold classic I’m predicting it will end Eagles 49-52 Cowboys. Do not put money on that.

4.14pm ET

Because it’s a national holiday and I don’t technically have a desk, they’ve let me report on this game from the comfort of my own home. I’m not saying I’m lonely but on a day where thoughts inevitable turn to family I’m sat on my own with just Fox for company. I had pasta and chicken for lunch. My dinner will consist of:

4.00pm ET

Hello and happy Thanksgiving! And for our non-US readers: hello and happy Thursday, the poor man’s Friday.

We’re all set for a tasty clash between the Eagles and Cowboys for (semi) control of the NFC East. To my mind this is the best Cowboys team since 2007 when they lost to the Giants in the divisional playoffs (and the season didn’t end too badly for New York). The good news for the Cowboys is that, unlike last weekend, they won’t be up against this kind of devilry today:

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By Tom Lutz

: News

All-party committee demands clearer terms and conditions, and suggests global ‘kitemark’ for responsible services

Social networks should simplify their terms and conditions, to ensure that their users fully understand how their personal data will be collected and used, MPs have concluded.

A report by the Commons science and technology committee calls for the British government to work with the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) on new guidelines for how social media companies should explain their data collection policies to uses.

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By Stuart Dredge

: News

Department of Health warns that only one in four children eligible for free nasal spray vaccine has received it so far this year

Parents have been urged to get their toddlers vaccinated against flu immediately to protect them from severe illness and prevent them from spreading the virus widely.

Under-fives with flu are more likely to be admitted to hospital than any other age group and are dubbed “superspreaders” because they infect so many people.

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By Haroon Siddique

: News